birdie_man
New
A couple old top 10s from Letterman...enjoy:
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Top Ten Signs Tiger Woods Is Overconfident
10. While everyone else is in Georgia, Tiger tees off from Michigan
9. After 12th hole tells caddy, "Why don't you finish up for me?"
8. Doesn't look to see where green is; just starts hitting
7. On his tax return, lists his occupation as "Best Damn Golfer on Planet"
6. Claims he'll match John Daly shot-for-shot both on the green and in the bar
5. Bought 20-foot wallet in anticipation of winning giant check
4. Offers to play entire tournament with nothing but a rake
3. When asked, "What do you think of the competition?" laughs his ass off for 20 minutes
2. Vows that if he doesn't win, he'll go to Cuba in Elian Gonzalez's place
1. Let himself balloon to 334 pounds
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Top Ten Tiger Woods Pet Peeves
10. PGA's pointless insistence I complete all 18 holes before they fork over cash
9. Have to hire three maids for the trophy-polishing alone
8. Only "groupies" are doughy 60-year-old men
7. Always feel like a dork standing in bank line with 6-foot check
6. You show a woman your long iron and she says, "Nice putter"
5. Satan calls at all hours of the night to remind you of the agreement
4. When buying personalized license plate at Disneyland, closest you can get is "Timmy"
3. You play the best game of your life and it's on CBS
2. At press conference, not allowed to admit, "I kicked everyone's ass because I'm much, much better than they are"
1. How would you like to spend all weekend watching golf?
---------------------------------------------------------
Top Ten Signs Tiger Woods Is Overconfident
10. While everyone else is in Georgia, Tiger tees off from Michigan
9. After 12th hole tells caddy, "Why don't you finish up for me?"
8. Doesn't look to see where green is; just starts hitting
7. On his tax return, lists his occupation as "Best Damn Golfer on Planet"
6. Claims he'll match John Daly shot-for-shot both on the green and in the bar
5. Bought 20-foot wallet in anticipation of winning giant check
4. Offers to play entire tournament with nothing but a rake
3. When asked, "What do you think of the competition?" laughs his ass off for 20 minutes
2. Vows that if he doesn't win, he'll go to Cuba in Elian Gonzalez's place
1. Let himself balloon to 334 pounds
---------------------------------
Top Ten Tiger Woods Pet Peeves
10. PGA's pointless insistence I complete all 18 holes before they fork over cash
9. Have to hire three maids for the trophy-polishing alone
8. Only "groupies" are doughy 60-year-old men
7. Always feel like a dork standing in bank line with 6-foot check
6. You show a woman your long iron and she says, "Nice putter"
5. Satan calls at all hours of the night to remind you of the agreement
4. When buying personalized license plate at Disneyland, closest you can get is "Timmy"
3. You play the best game of your life and it's on CBS
2. At press conference, not allowed to admit, "I kicked everyone's ass because I'm much, much better than they are"
1. How would you like to spend all weekend watching golf?
