Brian Manzella
Administrator
Twas the Night before a project 1.68 Christmas
(some time in the future) by Brian
Twas the Night before a project 1.68 Christmas
some time in the future...
By Brian Manzella
with apologies to Clement Moore
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the course
Not a golfer was using centrifugal force.
The head covers were placed on the drivers with care,
In hopes a new method soon would be there.
The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of swing-centers danced in their heads.
And Ben with his towel and Lynn with his sticks,
Had just told the faithful there was no quick fix.
When out on the lawn near the tree at the Masters,
I took a quick pic of an instruction disaster.
Dave Pelz was straightening Tiger's sure stroke,
And I thought that Sean Foley surely would choke.
Where Stack and where Tilt, you know Mike & Andy ,
Had just tinkered with their modus operandi.
Then a dozen white-belters magically appeared,
In a little red sleigh, it was really quite weird.
With a little old driver, an old Tommy Armour,
Was a little old man who was dressed like a farmer.
I asked him his name, he said William Melhorn,
He had come to teach sand shots to Thomas Bjorn!
"Now Brian! now, Finney! now, Damon and Kevin!
On, Michael D. Jacobs! I've come back from heaven!
To show ya'll the secret to hitting Ben's wall!
Now go tell the golfers, now go tell them all
" When you swing you see, don't try to hit down,
Just cut the grass son, it makes quite a sound.
Take it back and then down at the very same speed,
And soften your left arm, full power—no need!
So then, we all thanked him, but were still amazed,
We should have taken video and got it appraised.
Then walking to the range, we saw Michael Breed,
He told us "The Fix" didn't mean to mislead.
He was dressed all in cashmere, from his head to his toes,
And I told him the D-Plane could be superimposed
. He thought for a minute, then thanked us a bunch,
"The new ball-flight laws, a real knockout punch!"
We went to the stands, where Haney was sitting.
His face was a-scrawl like his pants were tight fitting.
"Hey Hank, I said loudly, you've met me before,"
I told I'm not a Machiner anymore.
He looked quite amazed, and asked if twas true,
"Of all of the people, I'd never guess you!"
I told him the scientists had set us all straight,
We have a new project called one point six eight!
He laughed, and he laughed and said "Told you so,"
A win is a win, and that makes 1 to oh."
We said our goodbyes, then I shook my head,
Now back on the forum, that'd make quite a thread!
As we left Augusta, we all agreed,
It was quite a day, a strange one indeed.
So many months later, on another conference call,
I made the announcement that I couldn't forestall.
' The manual is finished, we publish next week."
Some answers to questions about golf technique.
Quite pleased with our work in plain black and white,
"A Happy Christmas for golf, and to all a good-night!"
some time in the future...
By Brian Manzella
with apologies to Clement Moore
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the course
Not a golfer was using centrifugal force.
The head covers were placed on the drivers with care,
In hopes a new method soon would be there.
The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of swing-centers danced in their heads.
And Ben with his towel and Lynn with his sticks,
Had just told the faithful there was no quick fix.
When out on the lawn near the tree at the Masters,
I took a quick pic of an instruction disaster.
Dave Pelz was straightening Tiger's sure stroke,
And I thought that Sean Foley surely would choke.
Where Stack and where Tilt, you know Mike & Andy ,
Had just tinkered with their modus operandi.
Then a dozen white-belters magically appeared,
In a little red sleigh, it was really quite weird.
With a little old driver, an old Tommy Armour,
Was a little old man who was dressed like a farmer.
I asked him his name, he said William Melhorn,
He had come to teach sand shots to Thomas Bjorn!
"Now Brian! now, Finney! now, Damon and Kevin!
On, Michael D. Jacobs! I've come back from heaven!
To show ya'll the secret to hitting Ben's wall!
Now go tell the golfers, now go tell them all
" When you swing you see, don't try to hit down,
Just cut the grass son, it makes quite a sound.
Take it back and then down at the very same speed,
And soften your left arm, full power—no need!
So then, we all thanked him, but were still amazed,
We should have taken video and got it appraised.
Then walking to the range, we saw Michael Breed,
He told us "The Fix" didn't mean to mislead.
He was dressed all in cashmere, from his head to his toes,
And I told him the D-Plane could be superimposed
. He thought for a minute, then thanked us a bunch,
"The new ball-flight laws, a real knockout punch!"
We went to the stands, where Haney was sitting.
His face was a-scrawl like his pants were tight fitting.
"Hey Hank, I said loudly, you've met me before,"
I told I'm not a Machiner anymore.
He looked quite amazed, and asked if twas true,
"Of all of the people, I'd never guess you!"
I told him the scientists had set us all straight,
We have a new project called one point six eight!
He laughed, and he laughed and said "Told you so,"
A win is a win, and that makes 1 to oh."
We said our goodbyes, then I shook my head,
Now back on the forum, that'd make quite a thread!
As we left Augusta, we all agreed,
It was quite a day, a strange one indeed.
So many months later, on another conference call,
I made the announcement that I couldn't forestall.
' The manual is finished, we publish next week."
Some answers to questions about golf technique.
Quite pleased with our work in plain black and white,
"A Happy Christmas for golf, and to all a good-night!"
