Confessions of a former golfer

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pecky987

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Hi guys.

Some of you won't know who I am, but I hope some of you will. I was a very active member on this forum a while ago. I was around 16/17 years old trying to make myself a half way decent player, but I dreamt of being a golf teacher. I had already taught myself so much, mostly I admit from here, but I had come up with my own drills, mentalities, belief and opinions. I had worked with some excellent golfers (much better than myself) and helped them no end (not that I'm blowing my own trumpet).

I tried and I tried to perfect my own style of teaching and my understanding of the golf swing and of TGM and i got pretty damn knowledgable. But my own game was still just plain average. I was never anything special. I just couldn't master playing the game as well as i wanted.*

I threatened to quit many times, but never actually did. But, after a while, my love for the game has slowly fallen away. Until i'm where I am now. Someone who has officially fallen out of love with this great game. I haven't played in over 7 months, and i don't miss it at all.

Well that isnt strictly true.*

Basically i found myself wanting to play golf to socialise and drink more then i did to play well. I honestly didnt care if i shot a decent score or not. It was just for enjoyment. And i started to realise that wasnt what i wanted. I hated being a crappy golfer, and i wasnt prepared to continue playing at this level with no hope of getting to where i wanted to go. I had accepted that i had reached my peak, in terms of ability, and wouldnt get any better, despite what all my friends would tell me "you could be a great player if you just practised properly" but in truth, i dint want to practice. I just didnt care enough anymore.*

So ive decided to write this post as a condessional. I know there are many people on here who would never like to admit what i am about to write.

I QUIT GOLF BECAUSE I WAS SICK OF NOT BEING AS GOOD AS I WANTED TO BE

or, more simply...

I QUIT GOLF BECAUSE I WAS SICK OF NOT BEING GOOD

To some of you, this isnt a revalation. But im sure to others this will be the first time someone explicitally says this. Many people make excuses "i cant dedicate enough time to the game" "i got this injury" "other commitments got in the way" - i know, i said them myself.*

But in brutal honesty, i was just annoyed and frustrated i wasnt any good.

do i miss the game? Absolutely i do. I had some great times on a golf course. But im just not prepared to keep on struggling on for the once or twice a year where you feel like you're getting somewhere with this game.*

This almost sounds like a break up message. And in a way i guess it kind of is.

I will stay around to converse in is thread (if anyone finds it interesting that is).

But i would like to say thanks to everyone who tried to help me on here. You are far too numerous to mention all here.*

Thanks,

Jordan Peck
 
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wulsy

New
I quit for the same reason when I was 18 and just couldn't get below scratch. Didn't touch a club for 3 years. Took the game up again at 21, got to a plus HCP and reached the quarter final of the British Amateur inside a year. I still have a love/hate relationship with the game but OTOH I have learned so much from this game.

If I had my time again I would not have quit in the first place, but I would not have taken it up again either. Make a decision and stick to it. Hope that helps.
 
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softconsult

New
I have played golf on and off, mostly on for more than 50 years. I love it because you can't conquer it. Love practicing. In my opinion, Wulsy's question about are you any good is irrelevant to Robbier's post. Even the question, "Are you getting better?" isn't particularly useful.

Robbier has found something he likes doing. I also love pursuing this unconquerable thing called golf. Am I improving? Maybe my practice sessions are keeping me from not getting worse! I am about a 12 at age 67.

My observations of golfers I have known over the years is that they talk about wanting to improve, but do nothing about it. They don't practice. They don't read. They don't take lessons. However, they enjoy playing. Another group of players are the more occasional type that enjoy the walk in the park, the socializing, some drink on the course, and really aren't concerned with their score. They may say they are, but not really.

As to the original poster quitting golf, he may have done a good thing. I might still be married to my first wife if I had been more balanced and less obsessive about golf. 1,000's of hours could have been better spent. On the other hand, show me a sport that you can actually do into your 80's. Of course there is Bowling, Tennis and I guess Hiking. Golf is a great long term sport.

We just completed our Senior League season. 58 events over 8 months, 23 different courses, $24,000 in prize certificates. Our annual year-end dinner was yesterday evening. We had 65 couples in attendance. There is the obligatory "Thank You" offered to the wives. However, they are in universal agreement that they love having the husbands out of the house for 2 days a week.
 
JEREMY5577

JEREMY5577

New
It usually takes me about 12-15 hours to get over my "I'm never playing golf again temper tantrum". Usually from sunset of the aforementioned crappy day to the next afternoon is all I need to reset.
 
ZAP

ZAP

New
There is a line between wanting to get beter and just never being happy to play the game. I am in no way saying that this is about the first poster but some people can be miserable in a pile of money and some people can be happy in a pile of Sh!t. It is all about keeping it in perspective.
I am a better player than I was a year ago I think. I still need work on my short game in a major way but I am not miserable when playing. In fact I am enjoying golf more than ever.
 
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Lindsey Newman

New
It ain't for everyone.

I'm glad it's hard as hell to get good and I'm glad it's even harder for folks that don't have the passion or will make the sacrifice. Those that do and will, get all giddy at night when they walk by their trophies on the way to sleepless nights thinking of how to get better.

And to the OP, sorry it's not for you, but at least you can feel good about helping others to get better.
 
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DCgolf

New
You play, you quit, you pick it again and wish you hadn't quit. But you suck because you quit, so you quit again. And then you pick again and the whole stupid cycle starts all over again. I stopped playing that game years ago. Golf is in my DNA, period. I accept who I am, just another "dogged victim of an inexorable fate". At 64, I know where I am but today I hit some balls, and man I was good for an hour-figured something out, can't wait to try it tomorrow when I play. You can call that kidding myself if you'd like but I call it golf, dcgolf....Here's how you'll know if you love the game. If you put the clubs away and don't miss it, take up another hobby. It is NOT for everybody and your skill level, btw, is totally irrelevant.
 
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Kevin Shields

Super Moderator
The only thing I can compare it to is skiing. I always say I never do anything that I'm not good at. But the truth is that's a lie. I bowl casually and for a small period I did some casual skiing. I was a 12 handicap but was able to derive a lot of pleasure and excitement from it even when I was watching so many others that were far superior to me. But the key was I never fancied myself a serious skier who wanted to dedicate a lot of time and do it competitively.

I can totally see bagging golf if you don't see improvement and can't gain any pleasure from playing at the level you plateaued at. That being said there's a real good chance you never worked on the right things. Especially if you got into TGM.
 
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DCgolf

New
Two kinds of golfers me thinks: those who love the game and those who love being good at the game. For those of us who got somewhat proficient at it, a certain status, respect and admiration came with it. Maybe that's what we like, maybe that's what drove us to stay with it, I honestly don't know. But after yeah this many years that point has become moot. I get up and start the car and it drives to the course. if I have no lessons tomorrow I'm gonna go play. But here's what sticking with it got me: most guys at 64 years old are thinking about retiring. Thanks to golf that thought has never and will never cross my mind.
 
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wulsy

New
DCgolf said:
You play, you quit, you pick it again and wish you hadn't quit. But you suck because you quit, so you quit again. And then you pick again and the whole stupid cycle starts all over again. I stopped playing that game years ago. Golf is in my DNA, period. I accept who I am, just another "dogged victim of an inexorable fate". At 64, I know where I am but today I hit some balls, and man I was good for an hour-figured something out, can't wait to try it tomorrow when I play. You can call that kidding myself if you'd like but I call it golf, dcgolf....Here's how you'll know if you love the game. If you put the clubs away and don't miss it, take up another hobby. It is NOT for everybody and your skill level, btw, is totally irrelevant.
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I'm not so sure skill level is irrelevant in terms of those who quit the game because it brings more pain than pleasure, DC.

I tend to think that the better you become the harder it is to see progress or even to avoid regression. That feeling of a beautiful strike which highly developed golfers enjoy from time to time can disappear for whatever reason but when it does it's difficult to enjoy the game like you maybe once did. Once you've really really really flushed it, everything else is just a disappointment. And only masochists seek out disappointment.

But, hey, maybe golf turns you into a masochist. Or maybe hope springs eternal. I've given up trying to understand why, like you DC, life without golf is unimaginable.
 
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blehnhard

New
DC -

I am in agreement with both of your posts. While a little older - 70 this month - I too have spent the greatest part of my life in golf. Was an Asst. Pro for 5 years beginning in 1965, a Head Pro at 2 clubs from 1970 thru 1992, a Senior (Champions) Tour player for 6 years, and then for 11 years worked in the golf industry (Softspikes).

I was terrible at golf when I first began at age 13 - can remember shooting 140 for 18 holes during my 1st year. I was decent at other sports (football, baseball, tennis, etc.) but golf became a challenge to me.

When I "turned pro" in 65 after getting out of the Army, I was maybe a 5 hdcp golfer at best - 75 was a great day on the course for me.

When I had the time, I worked diligently on my game and slowly improved over the years. I can say that my best years as a player of the game came in my very late 40's and early to mid 50's. While I was able to augment by income during my club professional days by playing tournament golf at the local, sectional, and national level, I always enjoyed the challenge of the game.

As I have now been retired from work for 3+ years, I still enjoy the game as my hobby and try to play 2 to 3 times per week. I also enjoy just spending some time on the practice tee working on my swing and enjoying the occassional shot that was struck the way a ball was suppossed to be struck.

I no longer score the way I used to. Generally a good day for me is a par round to maybe 3 or 4 over. Mostly putting and a few short game errors keep me from scoring the way I used to. Sometimes hard to accept that my days of "getting better" are over and I too feel days of frustration and the "I want to quit" feeling. I have been fortunate to have "shot my age or better" twice this year (68 and 66).

But I cannot imagine not being able to play and practice. I hope I can stay healthly enough for years to come. I enjoy the time spent on the course with my friends. As I have lost a son-in- law (age 42) this week who leaves behind a wife and son, I think that I will cherish any and all of the time that life will allow me on the course (and elsewhere).

Bruce
 
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DCgolf

New
To the original poster, my advice is let it go. If you're "one of us" you'll be back, if you're not, find your passion, that's the holy grail my friend. Golf is just what some of us do, doesn't have to be what you do. My son was a really good player early, all state in high school, won jr tournaments etc. One day he came to me and said, "I'm not that into it", so... I never spoke to him again! LOL. Kidding of course, he's my best bud, jut had to let him do his thing...If you think golf is tough try thy dad thing!!!
 
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joep

New
Its about what time in your life you take up golf and how far you can go. I took it up at 60 and fell in love with the game . Problem was I had bad lessons all these yrs and practice bad advice and got nowere until I got here. Sorry I didnt take the game up as a kid but comming from the streets golf wasnt one thing we knew about. Now 77 cant wait to get up in the morning and go golfing. Better playing golf at any capacity than watching tv. I play a decent game thanks to brian,mike and especially kevin who help me so much taking time with the likes of me, great person...............
 
Matt 4-L

Matt 4-L

New
blehnhard said:
DC -

I am in agreement with both of your posts. While a little older - 70 this month - I too have spent the greatest part of my life in golf. Was an Asst. Pro for 5 years beginning in 1965, a Head Pro at 2 clubs from 1970 thru 1992, a Senior (Champions) Tour player for 6 years, and then for 11 years worked in the golf industry (Softspikes).

I was terrible at golf when I first began at age 13 - can remember shooting 140 for 18 holes during my 1st year. I was decent at other sports (football, baseball, tennis, etc.) but golf became a challenge to me.

When I "turned pro" in 65 after getting out of the Army, I was maybe a 5 hdcp golfer at best - 75 was a great day on the course for me.

When I had the time, I worked diligently on my game and slowly improved over the years. I can say that my best years as a player of the game came in my very late 40's and early to mid 50's. While I was able to augment by income during my club professional days by playing tournament golf at the local, sectional, and national level, I always enjoyed the challenge of the game.

As I have now been retired from work for 3+ years, I still enjoy the game as my hobby and try to play 2 to 3 times per week. I also enjoy just spending some time on the practice tee working on my swing and enjoying the occassional shot that was struck the way a ball was suppossed to be struck.

I no longer score the way I used to. Generally a good day for me is a par round to maybe 3 or 4 over. Mostly putting and a few short game errors keep me from scoring the way I used to. Sometimes hard to accept that my days of "getting better" are over and I too feel days of frustration and the "I want to quit" feeling. I have been fortunate to have "shot my age or better" twice this year (68 and 66).

But I cannot imagine not being able to play and practice. I hope I can stay healthly enough for years to come. I enjoy the time spent on the course with my friends. As I have lost a son-in- law (age 42) this week who leaves behind a wife and son, I think that I will cherish any and all of the time that life will allow me on the course (and elsewhere).

Bruce
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I really enjoyed your post Bruce...I am so sorry to hear about your son in law, I will be praying for your family.
 
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DCgolf

New
blehnhard said:
DC -

I am in agreement with both of your posts. While a little older - 70 this month - I too have spent the greatest part of my life in golf. Was an Asst. Pro for 5 years beginning in 1965, a Head Pro at 2 clubs from 1970 thru 1992, a Senior (Champions) Tour player for 6 years, and then for 11 years worked in the golf industry (Softspikes).

I was terrible at golf when I first began at age 13 - can remember shooting 140 for 18 holes during my 1st year. I was decent at other sports (football, baseball, tennis, etc.) but golf became a challenge to me.

When I "turned pro" in 65 after getting out of the Army, I was maybe a 5 hdcp golfer at best - 75 was a great day on the course for me.

When I had the time, I worked diligently on my game and slowly improved over the years. I can say that my best years as a player of the game came in my very late 40's and early to mid 50's. While I was able to augment by income during my club professional days by playing tournament golf at the local, sectional, and national level, I always enjoyed the challenge of the game.

As I have now been retired from work for 3+ years, I still enjoy the game as my hobby and try to play 2 to 3 times per week. I also enjoy just spending some time on the practice tee working on my swing and enjoying the occassional shot that was struck the way a ball was suppossed to be struck.

I no longer score the way I used to. Generally a good day for me is a par round to maybe 3 or 4 over. Mostly putting and a few short game errors keep me from scoring the way I used to. Sometimes hard to accept that my days of "getting better" are over and I too feel days of frustration and the "I want to quit" feeling. I have been fortunate to have "shot my age or better" twice this year (68 and 66).

But I cannot imagine not being able to play and practice. I hope I can stay healthly enough for years to come. I enjoy the time spent on the course with my friends. As I have lost a son-in- law (age 42) this week who leaves behind a wife and son, I think that I will cherish any and all of the time that life will allow me on the course (and elsewhere).

Bruce
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I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there my friend.
 
R

Robbierob99

New
wulsy said:
Are you any good rob?
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I'll put it this way: I'm good enough to know how hard it is. So challenging, so many variables, so many things to improve on. Thats the main appeal for me I guess; there's always something to improve on... always.

I just don't like to see people giving it up, golf has so much to offer in my opinion.... AND take this for what its worth: I've found that its normally sometime after my biggest periods of struggle that I have my biggest breakthroughs (its normally sneaks up to, but the catch is you gotta keep on trying).
 
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