The Journey Ends

[otto6457]

I wanted to stop by and thank Brian and all the great people here on the forum. It's been a while since I've been around and a lot of you probably don't know me, but this place has been my homing beacon for my journey through golf since 2005.

I've spent the biggest part of my life chasing the game. I've played since I was 8 years old; through high school golf, through college golf, and through state amateur golf. Even tried the Monday qualifying many years ago.

But the game finally won and it's no longer fun so I'm tossing in the towel.

I dawned on me a few months ago, coming up the 18th fairway, at yet another failed qualifier, that I was miserable. It finally sank in that no matter how hard I worked I was never going to raise my game enough to be the player I wanted to be in competitive golf. And unfortunately, the competition is the only part of the game that I care about.

Since my wasted years and thousands of dollars with Haney, Brian has been my only teacher and he has been a good friend and mentor to a guy that has too many things wrong with his swing that couldn't be tamed no matter how hard I worked, and the putter remains my mortal enemy that gets worse every year. The time I spent with Brian was likely the best part of my golfing experience. The hospitality and the knowledge he possesses is beyond anything I ever experienced. Every penny I spent on those cross country trips to see Brian was a great investment, and I can't thank him enough.

But...there's nothing left inside of me for the game. It gave me some great times, but they have been too far apart and I'm just too tired to care anymore. I haven't touched a golf club in 2 months and I haven't missed it at all. I haven't even watched golf on TV. My clubs are out of my trunk for the first time in 10 years and it's unlikely I'll ever put them back in. I've discovered that there is actually other things to do every day after 9 hours at work, than to go straight to the course and stay until dark. That weekends don't mean five hour rounds of golf and another couple of hours practicing. Or even ten hours of golf and then putting till dark.

Nope, after years and years of giving everything I have to the game I have nothing left to give.

Cheers to all and again Brian....thanks man, it was a real pleasure to work with you. You're the best I've ever met.

 

[jeffgladchun]

Hey man,

Take a break, don't think about golf for a while. You may never get the urge to play again, but then again you may. Frustrating game, I can relate. The harder I work, the worse I get.

Maybe one day you'll enjoy the game again, good luck.

 

[Chip Putterman]

Otto, my first impulse was to reply "See Ya". But I got to thinking that you are merely just now realizing what most of us learned a long time ago - that not everyone can be a Tour Pro. I got news for you Otto, no one cares what score you shoot but you. Golf is a great game, a game that you can play for a lifetime. It is a game to be shared with friends and family and passed down to your children. In my years, I have come to realize that there are only four kinds of golfers: a friendly skilled golfer...an unfriendly skilled golfer...a friendly hacker...and an unfriendly hacker. Speaking as a person who has played with hundreds of playing partners, I cannot remember what they scored...but I do remember how I felt playing with them.
Otto, golf is not about a score. It is much more than that.

 

[curtisj76]

Hey Otto, you gave it your best; many can't say that. I know you have been thinking about this for a long time now and I have a feeling you are truly done. I too have been thinking about giving this game up. I'm not even close to your level but I find it really hard to just have fun. It takes too much money and time to always be in a bad mood. I probably won't quit and hopefully you won't either. If you are done, good luck and I always enjoyed reading your posts.

Curtis

 

[Kevin Shields]

In 2004 I thought seriously about giving up as well. Got very close. Fast forward a couple years...even though im still not where i want to be, this past november the weather was nice and i played like 20 casual rounds. I never play casual golf, i only care about competing. But i had more fun with the game than i had inyears.

Take a break, refresh yourself and see if there's another way you can derive pleasure from the game. I didnt think I could but spending some time with quality people and just enjoying hitting some shots can be really fun.

 

[Richie3Jack]

I quit the game for good in 2000. I too was frustrated. Probably in a far worse position than you were because I was just about completely disillusioned about the game and equipment. Felt the game was purely about 'talent' and gave up the hope that some instructor could really figure out how to get me to improve. And it was tough because I thought I had an abundance of untapped potential (and I still do feel that way).

But about 2005 I really started to miss the game. And I also started to realize that whether or not I like it, I do love the game. By 2009 I finally got back into the game and I'm glad I did. One thing I've realized in the past 18 months of going back to the game is that golf is not some type of black magic mystery game anymore. And I believe that we can do things we never imagined before if we work hard enough, believe in ourselves, and are open minded enough and smart enough to seek the right instruction from the right people. I honestly believe if you did that, your putter would no longer be your mortal enemy. Why? Because I used to really struggle with my driver and within 6 months of getting back into the game, my driving has done a complete 180.

And I can assure you that there are plenty of people that would love to be playing golf in a qualifier and missing a cut. It wasn't too long ago that I was very sick and couldn't play golf and everytime I get frustrated and down on my game, I think about how it wasn't too long ago I would've just loved to have been out playing on the course, even if it meant shooting 120.

Competition can be a great thing, but you'll find that if that is your only motivation with the things you love doing, you'll never tap into all of that potential. So take a break and think about it. Go to a cancer ward some time, that will certainly wake you up to how good we have it.

You only have once chance at this stuff, so you might as well make the most of it.







3JACK

 

[ZAP]

I can feel your pain. At one point a couple of years ago I felt the same way. Turned out I was simply taking myself and my game too seriously. I am learning how to enjoy the adventure when I hit it in the trees and enjoying it more when I am hitting it well. I urge you to take some time off from the game but do not sell your clubs for at least two years.

 

[Lindsey Newman]

It is truly a brutal game. The highs can be incredible and the lows really can be low. The funny thing about golf is that you don't need anyone to play it, but you sure would like someone there when you play well. Some of us play golf and it influences our personal sense of self worth. You either are that way or you aren't. I am always in a better mood after I play well than not and I am fine with that. On the other side of the coin, I am also always excited on the way to my practice session in hopes of getting better and learning more.

That's the point. If we all owned the game of golf or our swings, we would not love it the way we do. It's the challenge and the promise of a better method.

I hope you change your mind and that your post is a cry for help not a true goodbye. If you do decide to come back, golf will promise you the same pain and delights as before. After all, it's better to hurt than to feel nothing.

 

[Brian Manzella]

Never Quit...

Golf is the only game with more teachers than players. And golf is the only game people quit multiple times.

I was as good at football as I could possibly be at my size, speed, and age when I hung up the pads. I was sixteen years old and trust me, nobody ever loved a game more than I loved football. I had played competitive, organized football for ten seasons at the time.

At the time I had played golf for six years. At the time my lowest 18 hole tournament score was a 78. I had broken par numerous times on my home course, but I was far from a real golfer.

And I decided I'd play college golf and one day play the tour after my last high school football game.

But I never have really quit football.

I still play at the infamous Norman Playground game, about 12-15 times a year. For those who don't, Norman is sort of a football version of the Venice Beach basketball wars.

Except "full contact/one-hand touch" is quite a bit more demanding than blacktop basketball. Norman currently features several current Division 1 & Rivals Ranked recruits. A few kids who could have played in the pros, but never finished high-school. A few studs who run 4.5's in their 20's, a couple of top-notch 30-somethings, and three guys in their early forties who can still ball.

And a slightly overweight, 48 year-old italian golf instructor who still gets picked early.

Never quit.

I managed to teach myself to a Division 1 college golf scholarship, and played a bunch of what amounts to single and double A professional events.

I never quite made it to the PGA Tour.

And, I never have settled with my golf game either. Years ago, I could have just kept my 1995 swing, short game and putting stroke and beat a bunch of club pros.

But I dream.

I have "quit" golf mentally so many times, I lost count. I have gone months with just a quick 9-holes one or twice.

I do not want to be a "recreational" golfer.

The last tournament I played in was about 6 years ago. It was the last time I put a score on the board, and it wasn't a good one. I told myself I wouldn't play again unless I was prepared.

Ha.

I am going to play again in a one day stroke play event in a couple of weeks.

I might shoot a thousand.

But the reason I am playing is I still have hope.

I am hitting it quite good and putting well. I am going to play a course I have broken par in a professional event on.

Never quit.

Putting is a game within a game. I would love to be a full time putting coach, because nobody is doing it like I would, or do in a very limited way.

Steve, why don't you take off a couple of months.

But....

I will give you some VERY SPECIFIC golf swing drills to do without a ball. I'll make you a custom video for the program.

Then, I like you to come to New Orleans without ANY clubs.

I will fit you for new putting stroke and we'll find a putter than fits for you and that stroke.

Then you can PUTT ONLY until you are so encouraged, that you want to start hitting balls.

At that point, you can come back to the Crescent City with your clubs.

At that will be the first time you will spend a nickel with me. All that other stuff is on the house.

Deal?

Just think, you could try competitive putting.

 

[flyers66]

Otto, my first impulse was to reply "See Ya". But I got to thinking that you are merely just now realizing what most of us learned a long time ago - that not everyone can be a Tour Pro. I got news for you Otto, no one cares what score you shoot but you. Golf is a great game, a game that you can play for a lifetime. It is a game to be shared with friends and family and passed down to your children. In my years, I have come to realize that there are only four kinds of golfers: a friendly skilled golfer...an unfriendly skilled golfer...a friendly hacker...and an unfriendly hacker. Speaking as a person who has played with hundreds of playing partners, I cannot remember what they scored...but I do remember how I felt playing with them.
Otto, golf is not about a score. It is much more than that.

great reply...perspective is hard smtime

 

[jeffgladchun]

I will fit you for new putting stroke and we'll find a putter than fits for you and that stroke.

Then you can PUTT ONLY until you are so encouraged, that you want to start hitting balls.

At that point, you can come back to the Crescent City with your clubs.

At that will be the first time you will spend a nickel with me. All that other stuff is on the house.

Deal?

Just think, you could try competitive putting.

Damn Brian, if he won't take you up on this offer I will.

A friend and I were discussing the first thing we would buy if we won the mega-millions jackpot lottery. I said I'd put you on retainer, get you all the 3D machines, Trackmans, and putting labs you wanted, and try to become the best player I could possibly become.

That offer stands, I just have to win the lottery now.

 

[Frizit]

Hang in there is about all I can say. I would venture to say that most people on this board can totally relate to how you feel. At least to some degree. Personally for the better part of 4 years now I've worked daylight to dark to improve my game and spent several thousand dollars myself and have yet to see the kind of results that I cherish. I've recently have taken almost a month off myself and to be quite honest I don't miss it much at all. I've sure enjoyed those little league baseball games all that much more. I'm coming to realize that golf will be there for me when I'm ready for it. So don't beat yourself up too bad. It will get better.

 

[jeffreycharris]

I'm thinking about tossing in the towel myself. For me the routine goes something like this. . . play golf until I get really frustrated and then break out the fly rod, after a while I start chipping in the yard and finally I'm back at it. . . then I get really frustrated and I repeat said process. The truth is, there is a lot more to life than golf, especially if golf drives you insane. I am coming to realize that I don't have the time to really get better and why should my recreation time add stress to my life? Golf is certainly a great game but I can understand why someone would quit. Best to you Otto.

 

[Deadly_Scope]

Golf is a game that everyone at their own level is trying their utmost to get better at. Everyone that plays this game tries to get the best out of their time and energy. Everyone thinks they should be better than they are but ultimately, people get out what they put in.

 

[trickyric67]

Otto,
I have been there too. I hated playing in tournaments and getting my head handed to me and torturing myself with the few shots i could have played better. I left the game for a few years and when I came back I stopped playing in tournaments and just for fun. I have found that I enjoy the game when I hit the shots the way I wanted too even if it doesn't help my score. I changed my paradigm to enjoy doing what I was trying to do rather than if the score came out well. now I sometimes go low and sometimes go high, but I enjoy the shots for their own value.
might not work for you, but hey it might.
I hope you find happiness in whatever you do.
Ric

 

[tobell]

So Many ways

The great thing about golf is there are so many facets to the game that there is something there for just about everybody. There's the social aspect. There's the mad scientist working in his lab aspect. There's the competitive aspect. Life and family responsibilities often mandate a shift...

 

[Ducky]

I can sympathise with you. I gave up playing golf almost three years due to several reasons (poor putting being one of them). I was convinced that I would never play again, so I sold all of my golf equipment (bags, clubs, range finders, etc) and focused on other activities. However, I recently started hitting golf balls again and the enthusiasm to play golf is coming back. You just need time. It may be weeks, months, or even years.

 

[Robbohank]

Golf is the only game with more teachers than players. And golf is the only game people quit multiple times.

I was as good at football as I could possibly be at my size, speed, and age when I hung up the pads. I was sixteen years old and trust me, nobody ever loved a game more than I loved football. I had played competitive, organized football for ten seasons at the time.

At the time I had played golf for six years. At the time my lowest 18 hole tournament score was a 78. I had broken par numerous times on my home course, but I was far from a real golfer.

And I decided I'd play college golf and one day play the tour after my last high school football game.

But I never have really quit football.

I still play at the infamous Norman Playground game, about 12-15 times a year. For those who don't, Norman is sort of a football version of the Venice Beach basketball wars.

Except "full contact/one-hand touch" is quite a bit more demanding than blacktop basketball. Norman currently features several current Division 1 & Rivals Ranked recruits. A few kids who could have played in the pros, but never finished high-school. A few studs who run 4.5's in their 20's, a couple of top-notch 30-somethings, and three guys in their early forties who can still ball.

And a slightly overweight, 48 year-old italian golf instructor who still gets picked early.

Never quit.

I managed to teach myself to a Division 1 college golf scholarship, and played a bunch of what amounts to single and double A professional events.

I never quite made it to the PGA Tour.

And, I never have settled with my golf game either. Years ago, I could have just kept my 1995 swing, short game and putting stroke and beat a bunch of club pros.

But I dream.

I have "quit" golf mentally so many times, I lost count. I have gone months with just a quick 9-holes one or twice.

I do not want to be a "recreational" golfer.

The last tournament I played in was about 6 years ago. It was the last time I put a score on the board, and it wasn't a good one. I told myself I wouldn't play again unless I was prepared.

Ha.

I am going to play again in a one day stroke play event in a couple of weeks.

I might shoot a thousand.

But the reason I am playing is I still have hope.

I am hitting it quite good and putting well. I am going to play a course I have broken par in a professional event on.

Never quit.

Putting is a game within a game. I would love to be a full time putting coach, because nobody is doing it like I would, or do in a very limited way.

Steve, why don't you take off a couple of months.

But....

I will give you some VERY SPECIFIC golf swing drills to do without a ball. I'll make you a custom video for the program.

Then, I like you to come to New Orleans without ANY clubs.

I will fit you for new putting stroke and we'll find a putter than fits for you and that stroke.

Then you can PUTT ONLY until you are so encouraged, that you want to start hitting balls.

At that point, you can come back to the Crescent City with your clubs.

At that will be the first time you will spend a nickel with me. All that other stuff is on the house.

Deal?

Just think, you could try competitive putting.

First class offer Brian. It's obvious that it comes from someone who loves the game to someone he knows also loves the game.

Everyone who plays this game knows how crazy it is. And everyone has their own aspirations. I think it gets a little tougher as you get near scratch and want to perform well in the bigger am events (which I believe is where Otto is). Residing in Texas as Otto does, I understand the frustration that can build with the 1-day qualifiers for most of the big events. A bad hole or 2 and you're out. Our state amateur wrapped up this past weekend and Jordan Speith.... a high school kid that beat a boatload of touring pro's in the Byron Nelson Classic a few weeks ago finished 8th..... 9 strokes back of the winner!! I missed qualifying by a couple of strokes and as always I could go back and find 4 shots that I threw away. The best I could do was caddy for a friend of mine this year.... but the frustration is very real!

Mid to High level competitive amateur golf is tough... especially for 8-to-5'ers. BUT.... the possibility is always there that it might be "your week". I've felt Otto's angst before and have threatened to quit, but in a day or so I find myself more anxious than ever to figure it out.

It's too great a game to simply walk away from, and I suspect Otto will be back. At least I hope he is.

 

[BIGBALL]

Otto

If you gave it everything you have, then it's O.K to step away!
However, let me say this... I know that I have more than enough athletic ability to play this game at a higher level - not a level like you - but higher than where I am now. I was always a very good athlete and working hard at any sport was easy for me, I loved it. I wish I wouldn't have waited so long ( mid 30's ) to really take up golf. Now however, early arthritis, - I'm 44 - especially in my spine & hip is making it tough enough for me to play, let alone practice as much as I need to. I know what I need to do to get better ( Damon has been awesome ) & If I could, I would practice everyday. I still probably do more than I should!
I guess what I am saying is that make sure that you have truly given it everything before you hang 'em up. You are truly blessed to be able to play on the level that you do. One other thing I can relate to is not playing unless you are at the highest competetive levels. I played baseball, and really thought I had a shot. When it didn't work out, I basically quit playing. Eventually though, I played in adult baseball leagues and came to really enjoy that aspect of the sport. It was social, and it was still baseball. and I played baseball because I loved it. I think when things get so competetive, we lose sight of that. As hard as golf can physically be for me, they will have to pry the clubs out of my cold, dead arthritic hands - I love playing and the great things that go with it ( playing partners, beautiful courses, etc) that much!

 

[Steve Khatib]

Brian is right on, you need to break the negative cycle somehow. Take him up on his offer.