Jones had retired in 1930 at 28 yrs of age, so he was no longer playing competitively when he entered the first Master's(called the Augusta Nat'l Invitational Tournament until 1939) in 1934 at age 32. He tied for 13th at +6, which was his best effort. No idea on the 18 hole score, but par would be a good guess.
The lighter side of golf...
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Jones had retired in 1930 at 28 yrs of age, so he was no longer playing competitively when he entered the first Master's(called the Augusta Nat'l Invitational Tournament until 1939) in 1934 at age 32. He tied for 13th at +6, which was his best effort. No idea on the 18 hole score, but par would be a good guess.
tourdeep
New
Men Beware
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron......Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie.
When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the GOLF course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...
Signed,
Ron
EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on October 3rd. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II rammed up his ass, with only 2 inches of grip showing.
His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat down on it very suddenly.
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron......Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie.
When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the GOLF course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...
Signed,
Ron
EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on October 3rd. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II rammed up his ass, with only 2 inches of grip showing.
His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat down on it very suddenly.
tourdeep
New
A young woman dressed in shorts had been taking golf lessons. She had just
started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her
pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and
to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in
so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee", she said.
"Where?", he asked.
"Between the first and second hole", she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her
pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and
to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in
so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee", she said.
"Where?", he asked.
"Between the first and second hole", she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
tourdeep
New
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of GOLF
balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled
blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's GOLF balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it
hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled
blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's GOLF balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it
hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
birdie_man
New
Ahaha....that's good.
tourdeep
New
Perspectives on Golf
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer
Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
"I wish I could play my normal game...just once."
"Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.
Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the inability to add correctly.
In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers...they shoot a six, yell fore and write five.
If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality might not be right for golf ...
Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
"The greatest sound in golf is the Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer
Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
"I wish I could play my normal game...just once."
"Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.
Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the inability to add correctly.
In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers...they shoot a six, yell fore and write five.
If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality might not be right for golf ...
Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
"The greatest sound in golf is the Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway
tourdeep
New
His and Her Diaries
HER DIARY:
Friday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friend all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too .
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, about 10 minutes later he came to bed and, to my surprise, he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation, but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster!
HIS DIARY:
Played a horrible game of golf today! Shot a 95 - can't putt for ****.
Got laid though.
HER DIARY:
Friday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friend all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too .
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, about 10 minutes later he came to bed and, to my surprise, he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation, but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster!
HIS DIARY:
Played a horrible game of golf today! Shot a 95 - can't putt for ****.
Got laid though.
tourdeep
New
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed"
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "s***."
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed"
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "s***."
birdie_man
New
Ahaha I like it.....just read that previous one too.....funnyfunny.
tourdeep
New
A man, while playing on the front nine of a
complicated golf course, became confused as to where
he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady
playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained
his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he
was playing.
"I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a
hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole." He
thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened and he
approache d her again with the same request. "I'm on
number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must
be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and
returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where
he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He
asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender
said that she was a sales lady and played the course
often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in
appreciation for your help. I understand that you're
in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do
you sell?"
"I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she
replied. "No, I won't." "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax." With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool. "See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!"
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a
salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"
complicated golf course, became confused as to where
he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady
playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained
his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he
was playing.
"I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a
hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole." He
thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened and he
approache d her again with the same request. "I'm on
number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must
be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and
returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where
he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He
asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender
said that she was a sales lady and played the course
often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in
appreciation for your help. I understand that you're
in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do
you sell?"
"I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she
replied. "No, I won't." "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax." With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool. "See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!"
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a
salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"
tourdeep
New
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he scored his first hole in one, when his cell phone rang. It was his doctor notifying him his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was, and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best round of golf ever.
He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading for the hospital. He ended up finishing all eighteen. He finished his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant, then he remembered his wife.
Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf, didn't you? I hope your proud of yourself. While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club, your wife had been languishing in the ICU. It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last.
For the rest of your life she will require `round he clock care`, and you'll be the care giver!". The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The Doctor started to snicker and said, " just kidding..she died two hours ago... what did you shoot?"
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was, and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best round of golf ever.
He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading for the hospital. He ended up finishing all eighteen. He finished his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant, then he remembered his wife.
Feeling guilty, he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf, didn't you? I hope your proud of yourself. While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club, your wife had been languishing in the ICU. It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last.
For the rest of your life she will require `round he clock care`, and you'll be the care giver!". The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The Doctor started to snicker and said, " just kidding..she died two hours ago... what did you shoot?"
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