Beyond Mechanics - The Mental Game

[KGlennCole]

My skill level is somewhat average. I'd say I'm in the Anxiety or Arousal area.. could be Worry... or it could be at the intersection of all.. which means I'm totally screwed up!

Seriously, I'd say close to or a mixture of Anxiety and Worry. I have no problem saying that.

Does that make me a basket case?

 

[birly-shirly]

To me - the mental, or non-mechanical, issue for you isn't whether or not you screw up a few times in a competitive round. The real issue is whether you screw up because it's a competitive round.

Do you know for a fact that you score significantly better when you play on your own? If so, how much? And where are you throwing away shots? I think you need to be able to answer these questions, with a bit of detail and certainty, before you can say whether you're really a basket case.

For what it's worth, you sound like a good playing partner!

 

[Deadly_Scope]

And here I just thought he was making a post, I got some reading to catch up on, what's the books I should read on this. Emotionally I'm a cripple and physically I suffer from numerous ailments some real and others imagined, can we talk in private.

Where have you been? Are you staying for a while or just passing thru?

Learning about psychology is very enjoyable for me but unless you wish to study it for that reason, it would be better to find a professional to assist you to find areas for improvement.

I have been very busy since the birth of my son and haven't been able to visit much. When I have had some internet time, I have been on another forum debating theology to make a change of subject matter. When discussing golf, it just felt as though the specific subjects don't interest me anymore. The motivation is lessened by the fact that I could count on one hand the times I've played this year.

 

[otto6457]

I may not be the best person to respond but I have some serious "perfectionist" issues so I can speak from that with some authority.

Playing competitive rounds is stressful. If they weren't, it would probably mean that they aren't important to you. The thing about competitive golf is that you will more often than not, play with players that are better at something than you. Longer hitters, better putters, short game magicians, etc. I've played with guys that when they swing the club, you can almost hear angels sing. Their swings are things of beauty and grace. Some have had national reputations as amateurs, mini tour players, and even ex-PGA tour players. All of them were better than me at something. Some of them were better than me at everything.

But the funny thing about golf is that the ball doesn't care how you put it in the hole. The only thing that matters is the number you tell your score keeper as you walk off the green.

Long hitters don't always win. (see Bubba last week)
The best putters don't always win. (see Luke Donald last week)
The best short game magicians don't always win (see Phil Mickelson last week)

You have to just play the best game you have and see where you finish at the end. Nothing the other players in your group do, has any effect on your golf ball. It's always you against the course (unless it's match play). So no matter how long, or how good a putter, or how perfect their swing is, the other players have zero to do with what YOU shoot. Don't give them an advantage on the first tee simply because you "think" they are better players. Make them prove it after the 18th hole when you add up the scores. Not a second before.

Play your game as well as you can and enjoy the adrenaline rush of competing. The more competitive rounds you play, the more comfortable you will become. Like Richie said, make your casual rounds more competitive. Wager with your buddies. It doesn't matter how much. (it should be enough that you don't want to hand it over, but not so much that you have to sleep in a box) Put some pressure on your shots and your focus tends to improve. Get used to the feeling of pressure. Enjoy the feeling of pressure. It means you care and that you need to perform.

Quit worrying about what might happen....and just see what DOES happen.

You might surprise yourself.

Good luck!

 

[ZAP]

Don't know if anyone mentioned it but I recently read "Play Your Best Golf Now" and there was a lot of stuff in that book regarding the mental and emotional game I had never even considered.

For example during my lesson with Kevin we talked about me using my rangefinder more. I almost never used it before unless I felt confused. Basically I played totally using my eyes and feel. After reading the book I realized that I can use the range finder to confirm what I feel and that is OK. It also helped me to realize that too much information is very bad for me so I am careful not to use it too much.

The book has no pictures! lol

 

[Damon Lucas]

Learning about psychology is very enjoyable for me but unless you wish to study it for that reason, it would be better to find a professional to assist you to find areas for improvement.

I have been very busy since the birth of my son and haven't been able to visit much. When I have had some internet time, I have been on another forum debating theology to make a change of subject matter. When discussing golf, it just felt as though the specific subjects don't interest me anymore. The motivation is lessened by the fact that I could count on one hand the times I've played this year.

Welcome back! Congrats on your son! Good perspective on the OP's query - is it the only approach you would recommend, or would you sometimes recommend working within his parameters? Also, on what side of your theology debate do you reside?

 

[footwedge]

Learning about psychology is very enjoyable for me but unless you wish to study it for that reason, it would be better to find a professional to assist you to find areas for improvement.

I have been very busy since the birth of my son and haven't been able to visit much. When I have had some internet time, I have been on another forum debating theology to make a change of subject matter. When discussing golf, it just felt as though the specific subjects don't interest me anymore. The motivation is lessened by the fact that I could count on one hand the times I've played this year.

Nice to hear from you, enjoy your time with your family.

 

[Deadly_Scope]

Good stuff, Deadly

quote KGC:
Im rarely out of the fairway, but a lot shorter. A bad hole and I'm the 'hit last, hit first guy". Couple that with the pressure to keep play moving, it can be frustrating. Or, have a bad hole.. it's just as frustrating.

quote Deadly:
You wish to transfer your inability to play as well as you would like to external factors. This delusion is to protect you from the belief structure that you've bought into without thinking.


Dbl:
Protecting the self fictions we have is key to a lot of "delusions" as you say. Perfectionism is a terrible trait which can keep people away from outcomes which can pop those self fictions. In the face of outcomes where performance is less than meets the level of our fictions, "we" need things to blame for outcomes which don't match up to the fictions. Having them handy ahead of time is an advanced form of protection, and quite debilitating, and can beget very strong habits of continued reliance.

Completely agree with this.

 

[Deadly_Scope]

Um, no. I think the fact that he is 20 years older is a very valid reason for not hitting the ball as far as the young guys.

I agree that it is a plausable reason why he doesn't hit it as far as he would like. That isn't the point. The point is that he felt the need to defend/justify his self worth by bringing it up in the first place.

It's quite healthy to compete AGAINST your playing opponents. You can shake their hands and buy them a beer afterward, but in the mean time, go ahead and try to bury them. The only thing better than winning by 5 strokes is winning by 6.

You're basically making two assertions here.

1/ You can act with a different mentality outside the context of playing.

2/ Having an enemy image of your opponent promotes the will to win.

The first assertion is not necessarily true because it presupposes the ability to change one's mindset at will. The instant changing of belief structures to the situation is possible, but certainly it would require alot of effort to control the mind this well.

Even if we accept the first assertion to be true, that is not an argument against the supposition that creating an enemy image isn't a mentally good thing to do.

The second assertion is actually true. This mentality will give you a will to win from an extrinsic motivational standpoint. It's not about whether it gives you a will to win but whether it also gives a fear of failure. When you create an enemy image of your opponent, you start aligning your value to the results. That's okay if you're playing well but if you're playing mediocre, it sends you mentally on a downward spiral.

Your statement also implicitly presupposes/argues that it is the only way to have the will to win which is not the case. The will to win can also come from a comradery viewpoint through intrinsic motivation. So unless you can somehow show how this is not the case, we can agree that both belief structures have this positive attribute.

Embracing competition and striving to win is part of the spice of life.

I agree but what has that got to do with the temerity of viewing others as your enemy?

When you've lost previously, but then work hard on your game and prevail.....that's a beautiful thing.

Implying that satisfaction can only be gained through vindication of self-worth in relation to others. It's not beautiful to abuse yourself. What you're arguing is the equivalent of putting a tight pair of shoes on to have the satisfaction of taking them off.

You can get satisfaction from improvement but there is no need to beat yourself up along the way which is the result of 'enemy' pecking order thinking.

 

[Deadly_Scope]

Um, no. I think the fact that he is 20 years older is a very valid reason for not hitting the ball as far as the young guys.

I agree that it is a plausable reason why he doesn't hit it as far as he would like. That isn't the point. The point is that he felt the need to defend/justify his self worth by bringing it up in the first place.

It's quite healthy to compete AGAINST your playing opponents. You can shake their hands and buy them a beer afterward, but in the mean time, go ahead and try to bury them. The only thing better than winning by 5 strokes is winning by 6.

You're basically making two assertions here.

1/ You can act with a different mentality outside the context of playing.

2/ Having an enemy image of your opponent promotes the will to win.

The first assertion is not necessarily true because it presupposes the ability to change one's mindset at will. The instant changing of belief structures to the situation is possible, but certainly it would require alot of effort to control the mind this well.

Even if we accept the first assertion to be true, that is not an argument against the supposition that creating an enemy image isn't a mentally good thing to do.

The second assertion is actually true. This mentality will give you a will to win from an extrinsic motivational standpoint. It's not about whether it gives you a will to win but whether it also gives a fear of failure. When you create an enemy image of your opponent, you start aligning your value to the results. That's okay if you're playing well but if you're playing mediocre, it sends you mentally on a downward spiral.

Your statement also implicitly presupposes/argues that it is the only way to have the will to win which is not the case. The will to win can also come from a comradery viewpoint through intrinsic motivation. So unless you can somehow show how this is not the case, we can agree that both belief structures have this positive attribute.

Embracing competition and striving to win is part of the spice of life.

I agree but what has that got to do with the temerity of viewing others as your enemy?

When you've lost previously, but then work hard on your game and prevail.....that's a beautiful thing.

Implying that satisfaction can only be gained through vindication of self-worth in relation to others. It's not beautiful to abuse yourself. What you're arguing is the equivalent of putting a tight pair of shoes on to have the satisfaction of taking them off.

You can get satisfaction from improvement but there is no need to beat yourself up along the way which is the result of 'enemy' pecking order thinking.

 

[pokerlife]

Nice stuff Deadly Scope.
I love this kind of deep soul searching/thinking

Ive been a pool/ billiards player for 14 years and aspire to be one of the top ranked players in the world..
I feel as if i can unlock the right answer to these riddles that go on in our head i will be able to play effortlessly and calm and relaxed.

So what should ones mindset be when we are in a pressure packed event or outing ? How do we get out of our own way?

 

[ej20]

Check out my new signature.That says it all.LOL

 

[nevermind]

OP, my advice is to look into Clear Keys. Dr Carey Mumford is all over this.

 

[Deadly_Scope]

I wonder whether this sort of analysis is typical of psychotherapy autodidacts.

Appreciate you feel that way but this is a fallacy called ad hominem which attacks the person rather than the temerity of the argument.

The OP wants to avoid hitting his driver off the shaft. Yup - that's an external motivation.

This is logically fallacious and again not debating against the temerity of the argument. Simply put, this is another way of saying 'sounds good in theory but doesn't work in practice'. The problem with is if something is correct in theory and is sound, it works practically too.

It also implies that lack of ability makes you feel emotion and therefore emotions are something you can't control. This is the same kind of thinking that causes abusive husbands to think their wife causes them to feel angry.

That's the point. If I put my mind to it, I could shank my way round the course in perfect tranquility, but what would be the point of that?

It is called accepting reality. You don't have to beat yourself up everytime you fall short of your self-imposed expectations.

People like Timothy Gallwey or Bob Rotella who talk about "not caring about" or "letting go of" results are employing psychological sleight of hand.

Yeah, of course! What do the experts know!

I agree that it could seem magical to some who don't think this way and because they don't, they believe that because they feel that way that all others feel the same but just hide it.

Again, this not addressing the argument.

The point is to find a state of mind that supports learning and, yes, getting better - which is still an external motivation. Which is perfectly fine by me.

Thank you!

Finally! An actual objection to the argument.

Your point is basically on the motivation to improve but it's again a somewhat moot point because unless you can show that the inverse form is false, then you are merely selling a benefit which is also true of the position I raised.

I would assert that motivation to improve can come from intrinsic motivation from sheer enjoyment of the game. Just playing to be better than others is not a good motivation which leads you down a dark path. So motivation doesn't have to come from an extrinsic source by means of antipathy towards others.

But if you genuinely don't care about the results - then what are you doing out there for 4 hours? Whatever it is, it's not golf.

If your saying that enjoyment grows as skill rises, I would agree with that. However, you don't need to beat yourself up in the process.

 

[Kevin Shields]

"Just playing to be better than others is not good motivation.." Completely agree. When I got paired with Rocco Saturday at the Nationwide event, several people were like "Bury him" or "You can beat him". My answers were always..."First of all, I dont play against other players, I play the course...period." and "So, if Rocco shoots 76 and I clip him at 75, does that suppose to make me feel good about myself?" ...........Crickets

Just like Deadly said, attaching your golf worth by comparing your performance to others sucks. It might be ok if ur playing well, you'll feel great about yourself. But it works the opposite when ur not playing well, you'll feel like a loser.

 

[Matt Bryda]

Nice stuff Deadly Scope.
I love this kind of deep soul searching/thinking

Ive been a pool/ billiards player for 14 years and aspire to be one of the top ranked players in the world..
I feel as if i can unlock the right answer to these riddles that go on in our head i will be able to play effortlessly and calm and relaxed.

So what should ones mindset be when we are in a pressure packed event or outing ? How do we get out of our own way?

Stay in the moment, all you have is the moment. Golf to me is the ultimate stay in the moment game.

 

[pokerlife]

So Scope the secret is to remain in the present moment when competing or what? Crazy but when you said Accept Reality I felt a bell go off

I create so many story lines and crap in my head its amazing i ever perform as well as i do! I think i have been linking self worth to how well i perform .. As if I will be viewed in a awe inspiring light if i perform perfectly. Makes a lot of sense why I never feel satisfied no matter how well I perform..

Weird how when I was a kid I never analyzed anything .. I just played the game or sport for the sheer rush and enjoyment ! It is easy to see how one's mind can link self worth to performing better though, With the way the media and the public treat athletes as heroes and kings..

Anyways good stuff man, Is there a book you recommend for one to dive deeper into this subject?

 

[pokerlife]

Stay in the moment, all you have is the moment. Golf to me is the ultimate stay in the moment game.

You stole the thought from my fingers as they were typing my last reply lol

 

[Kevin Shields]

So Scope the secret is to remain in the present moment when competing or what? Crazy but when you said Accept Reality I felt a bell go off

I create so many story lines and crap in my head its amazing i ever perform as well as i do! I think i have been linking self worth to how well i perform .. As if I will be viewed in a awe inspiring light if i perform perfectly. Makes a lot of sense why I never feel satisfied no matter how well I perform..

Weird how when I was a kid I never analyzed anything .. I just played the game or sport for the sheer rush and enjoyment ! It is easy to see how one's mind can link self worth to performing better though, With the way the media and the public treat athletes as heroes and kings..

Anyways good stuff man, Is there a book you recommend for one to dive deeper into this subject?

But the media is also quick to take a dump on their heads when they dont perform

 

[Virtuoso]

I agree that it is a plausable reason why he doesn't hit it as far as he would like. That isn't the point. The point is that he felt the need to defend/justify his self worth by bringing it up in the first place.

No, he brought it up because it places him at a disadvantage.

You're basically making two assertions here.

1/ You can act with a different mentality outside the context of playing.

2/ Having an enemy image of your opponent promotes the will to win.

The first assertion is not necessarily true because it presupposes the ability to change one's mindset at will. The instant changing of belief structures to the situation is possible, but certainly it would require alot of effort to control the mind this well.

I didn't presuppose that the mindset could change at will; it was much worse. I presupposed that the mindset can be simultaneously different. I'm playing with my best friend. I want to beat him badly. I lose and am disappointed, and simultaneously have the same amount of affection and admiration for him as I've ever had. Seems to be a paradox, but people negotiate it successfully every weekend.

Even if we accept the first assertion to be true, that is not an argument against the supposition that creating an enemy image isn't a mentally good thing to do.

We don't even have to call him an enemy, but I do approve of creating an opponent image. That seems perfectly healthy to me.

The second assertion is actually true. This mentality will give you a will to win from an extrinsic motivational standpoint. It's not about whether it gives you a will to win but whether it also gives a fear of failure. When you create an enemy image of your opponent, you start aligning your value to the results. That's okay if you're playing well but if you're playing mediocre, it sends you mentally on a downward spiral.

It think a reasonable fear of failure is fantastic, it motivates us to excel. In fact, I think a lot of extrinsic motivations are perfectly fine.

The results will of course assign a value to your skill level. I don't think it will necessarily send you into a self-loathing, downward death spiral.

Your statement also implicitly presupposes/argues that it is the only way to have the will to win which is not the case. The will to win can also come from a comradery viewpoint through intrinsic motivation. So unless you can somehow show how this is not the case, we can agree that both belief structures have this positive attribute.

I agree, let's call him our comrade opponent.

Implying that satisfaction can only be gained through vindication of self-worth in relation to others. It's not beautiful to abuse yourself. What you're arguing is the equivalent of putting a tight pair of shoes on to have the satisfaction of taking them off.

I didn't know my statement was full of such disastrous implications. Here is what I meant: When you've lost previously, and then work on your game and prevail...that's a beautiful thing. I said it as clearly as I know how.

For the record, I don't approve of self abuse or tight shoes.