Beyond Mechanics - The Mental Game

[KGlennCole]

Hope this meets criteria for posting here...

Thanks to this site and Kevin, I've improved over the past year. Still can't shake those 3-5 really bad holes a round, though... especially in tournament play. Most posts here focus on the full swing.. we can work on that until the sun sets..

Most of the guys I play against are 20-25 years younger and hit the ball much further than me... the hit far and gouge crowd. I'm rarely out of the fairway, but a lot shorter. A bad hole and I'm the 'hit last, hit first guy". Couple that with the pressure to keep play moving, it can be frustrating. Or, have a bad hole.. it's just as frustrating. I try to keep in mind "Don't follow a bad shot with a bad decision", but how do you deal with a rolled 3-W or a Driver hit off the shaft 30 yards?

I have had a *lot* of comments and compliments regarding my swing. One guy said to me recently.. "Your swing looks great. I don't understand why you don't score better." I work on it. A lot. My goal this year was to reduce my HI 3-4 strokes to 12.. it's gone up 2-3 (fluctuates) .. but, I'm striking the ball much better.. it's those 3-5 bad holes. I seem to be 'out of the money' by only 1-2 strokes.. or, just 3-5 strokes from #1-#3 place.

What about the mental side of the game? Would you suggest I see someone? (I'm dead serious.) Any suggestions? I usually listen to my Rotella CDs on the way to the course. I try to think about course management... I rarely, if ever, try a 'career shot'. I try to play steady, conservative golf.

BTW, I have a very stressful career. I'm Type A+++. I love the game of golf. I do not exhibit much emotion (externally) on the course. Internally.. that's another matter.

P.S. BMan >> You might want to bring a couch for the 22nd!! Looking forward to having an hour with you. (We may talk some WVU-LSU smack that day. Let's Go, Mountaineers!!)

 

[Virtuoso]

The type A's I've taught are very good at processing information in a way that separates the wheat from the chaff. They also do a good job on focusing on the essentials when they practice. But they are horrendously bad at taking a new skill to the golf course.

They are very consciously aware of their body movements while swinging. This is a useful trait when they are working on something on the range, but very inefficient when playing. They are control freaks and can never quite let go and give it a rip. They just can't get out of their own way.

I've seen some of them improve, but being "blank minded" over the ball and during the swing is a skill that they struggle with.

But becoming better at letting go is not as hard as it seems, it is merely another decision.

 

[KGlennCole]

The type A's I've taught are very good at processing information in a way that separates the wheat from the chaff. They also do a good job on focusing on the essentials when they practice. But they are horrendously bad at taking a new skill to the golf course.

They are very consciously aware of their body movements while swinging. This is a useful trait when they are working on something on the range, but very inefficient when playing. They are control freaks and can never quite let go and give it a rip. They just can't get out of their own way.

I've seen some of them improve, but being "blank minded" over the ball and during the swing is a skill that they struggle with.

But becoming better at letting go is not as hard as it seems, it is merely another decision.

Thanks. Since you've described, quite accurately, me and my 'problem'.. How do I address this? Does therapy work? Hypnosis? I'm dead serious here. Do I have to accept it? Quit competition or playing? (Hope not.) I sincerely want to win even at my level and age. I sincerely want to improve.. I'd be happy (I think) at a 12 HI or so.

BTW, I chuckled at your "blank minded" phrase.. I can't tell you how many times I've stood over a putt or a shot and thought about soemthing.. sometimes something that had nothing to do with golf and/or happened years ago. My mind seems to go a hundred miles an hour 24/7.

 

[Deadly_Scope]

I've been reading about phychotherapy and will give some insights into your personality.

Hope this meets criteria for posting here...

It is obvious to everyone that it meets the criteria. The fact is that you know this and still say it denotes insecurity because you're seeking the reassurance of others. You only do this when your absolutely sure of correctness because you desire positive affirmation and fear negative.

Most of the guys I play against are 20-25 years younger and hit the ball much further than me...

Note that you play 'against' people rather than 'with' people. This means that you have an 'enemy image' of others that you play. This type of thinking is indicative of the fact you visualise things in term of a pecking order rather than them being your comrades. When you place your value of self on comparitive scale to others, you open the door to emotional turmoil and it also means your motivations are driven extrinsically rather than intrinsically.

Also notice that you're justifing yourself. You could have simply said that you don't hit it as far as others but you felt the need to add the fact that they are younger because you are frightened of what others may think. Again, that's proof that you are extrinsically motivated.

Also this is a problem statement rather than an outcome statement which depicts an inability to move forward. You could have simply said that you wish to increase your distance rather than focusing on not hitting it as far as others.

the hit far and gouge crowd.

Phrasing others positive attribute in a negative frame is a type of deflection in order to promote self worth.

Im rarely out of the fairway, but a lot shorter. A bad hole and I'm the 'hit last, hit first guy". Couple that with the pressure to keep play moving, it can be frustrating. Or, have a bad hole.. it's just as frustrating.

You wish to transfer your inability to play as well as you would like to external factors. This delusion is to protect you from the belief structure that you've bought into without thinking.

I try to keep in mind "Don't follow a bad shot with a bad decision", but how do you deal with a rolled 3-W or a Driver hit off the shaft 30 yards?

The issue isn't about trying not to react but taking away the reason why you do so. If you change your orientation so you are intrinsically motivated and no longer link things to your value, you won't be emotionally affected after a bad shot. No matter how bad it is, you won't see it as something that devalues you.

Your desire to win is operating from a self-imposed fear of failure rather than from a healthy love of the game and enjoying the company you are with. This causes you hate losing and makes you feel bad. If you get out this thinking that people have value in relation, you will still enjoy winning but since you won't feel like it depreciates your worth if you lose, you won't fear it.

 

[footwedge]

I've been reading about phychotherapy and will give some insights into your personality.



It is obvious to everyone that it meets the criteria. The fact is that you know this and still say it denotes insecurity because you're seeking the reassurance of others. You only do this when your absolutely sure of correctness because you desire positive affirmation and fear negative.



Note that you play 'against' people rather than 'with' people. This means that you have an 'enemy image' of others that you play. This type of thinking is indicative of the fact you visualise things in term of a pecking order rather than them being your comrades. When you place your value of self on comparitive scale to others, you open the door to emotional turmoil and it also means your motivations are driven extrinsically rather than intrinsically.

Also notice that you're justifing yourself. You could have simply said that you don't hit it as far as others but you felt the need to add the fact that they are younger because you are frightened of what others may think. Again, that's proof that you are extrinsically motivated.

Also this is a problem statement rather than an outcome statement which depicts an inability to move forward. You could have simply said that you wish to increase your distance rather than focusing on not hitting it as far as others.



Phrasing others positive attribute in a negative frame is a type of deflection in order to promote self worth.



You wish to transfer your inability to play as well as you would like to external factors. This delusion is to protect you from the belief structure that you've bought into without thinking.



The issue isn't about trying not to react but taking away the reason why you do so. If you change your orientation so you are intrinsically motivated and no longer link things to your value, you won't be emotionally affected after a bad shot. No matter how bad it is, you won't see it as something that devalues you.

Your desire to win is operating from a self-imposed fear of failure rather than from a healthy love of the game and enjoying the company you are with. This causes you hate losing and makes you feel bad. If you get out this thinking that people have value in relation, you will still enjoy winning but since you won't feel like it depreciates your worth if you lose, you won't fear it.

And here I just thought he was making a post, I got some reading to catch up on, what's the books I should read on this. Emotionally I'm a cripple and physically I suffer from numerous ailments some real and others imagined, can we talk in private.

Where have you been? Are you staying for a while or just passing thru?

 

[dbl]

Good stuff, Deadly

quote KGC:
Im rarely out of the fairway, but a lot shorter. A bad hole and I'm the 'hit last, hit first guy". Couple that with the pressure to keep play moving, it can be frustrating. Or, have a bad hole.. it's just as frustrating.

quote Deadly:
You wish to transfer your inability to play as well as you would like to external factors. This delusion is to protect you from the belief structure that you've bought into without thinking.


Dbl:
Protecting the self fictions we have is key to a lot of "delusions" as you say. Perfectionism is a terrible trait which can keep people away from outcomes which can pop those self fictions. In the face of outcomes where performance is less than meets the level of our fictions, "we" need things to blame for outcomes which don't match up to the fictions. Having them handy ahead of time is an advanced form of protection, and quite debilitating, and can beget very strong habits of continued reliance.

 

[dschultz6072]

Wow you sound a lot like me. Except I know how to deal with bad shots. I laugh at them. Block the piss out of a drive to the right? Laugh it off. Shank a wedge shot? Curse the gods and then laugh it off. I wouldn't consider myself a type A, however...don't even know what that really means. I'm a type me. I also most definitely do have the ability to just walk up to my ball and hit a shot in mid sentence. The less thoughts the better. Something I've learned from Colin Montgomerie is you have about 10 thoughts for a shot before it can start becoming negative. This is why he likes to play rather quickly as well. There is no sense in preparing to take a shot if you have negative thoughts in your head. Back off and start over and don't hit the ball till you feel positive.

You might want to give the Little Red Book a look.

 

[faux_maestro]

I'm a bit of a perfectionist.....playing really fast helped me not think of other stuff. Take your time to select a shot and a target, setup, look at the target, go.

 

[Virtuoso]

I've been reading about phychotherapy and will give some insights into your personality.



It is obvious to everyone that it meets the criteria. The fact is that you know this and still say it denotes insecurity because you're seeking the reassurance of others. You only do this when your absolutely sure of correctness because you desire positive affirmation and fear negative.



Note that you play 'against' people rather than 'with' people. This means that you have an 'enemy image' of others that you play. This type of thinking is indicative of the fact you visualise things in term of a pecking order rather than them being your comrades. When you place your value of self on comparitive scale to others, you open the door to emotional turmoil and it also means your motivations are driven extrinsically rather than intrinsically.

Also notice that you're justifing yourself. You could have simply said that you don't hit it as far as others but you felt the need to add the fact that they are younger because you are frightened of what others may think. Again, that's proof that you are extrinsically motivated.

Also this is a problem statement rather than an outcome statement which depicts an inability to move forward. You could have simply said that you wish to increase your distance rather than focusing on not hitting it as far as others.



Phrasing others positive attribute in a negative frame is a type of deflection in order to promote self worth.



You wish to transfer your inability to play as well as you would like to external factors. This delusion is to protect you from the belief structure that you've bought into without thinking.



The issue isn't about trying not to react but taking away the reason why you do so. If you change your orientation so you are intrinsically motivated and no longer link things to your value, you won't be emotionally affected after a bad shot. No matter how bad it is, you won't see it as something that devalues you.

Your desire to win is operating from a self-imposed fear of failure rather than from a healthy love of the game and enjoying the company you are with. This causes you hate losing and makes you feel bad. If you get out this thinking that people have value in relation, you will still enjoy winning but since you won't feel like it depreciates your worth if you lose, you won't fear it.

Um, no. I think the fact that he is 20 years older is a very valid reason for not hitting the ball as far as the young guys.

It's quite healthy to compete AGAINST your playing opponents. You can shake their hands and buy them a beer afterward, but in the mean time, go ahead and try to bury them. The only thing better than winning by 5 strokes is winning by 6.

Embracing competition and striving to win is part of the spice of life. When you've lost previously, but then work hard on your game and prevail.....that's a beautiful thing.

 

[birly-shirly]

I've been reading about phychotherapy and will give some insights into your personality.



It is obvious to everyone that it meets the criteria. The fact is that you know this and still say it denotes insecurity because you're seeking the reassurance of others. You only do this when your absolutely sure of correctness because you desire positive affirmation and fear negative.



Note that you play 'against' people rather than 'with' people. This means that you have an 'enemy image' of others that you play. This type of thinking is indicative of the fact you visualise things in term of a pecking order rather than them being your comrades. When you place your value of self on comparitive scale to others, you open the door to emotional turmoil and it also means your motivations are driven extrinsically rather than intrinsically.

Also notice that you're justifing yourself. You could have simply said that you don't hit it as far as others but you felt the need to add the fact that they are younger because you are frightened of what others may think. Again, that's proof that you are extrinsically motivated.

Also this is a problem statement rather than an outcome statement which depicts an inability to move forward. You could have simply said that you wish to increase your distance rather than focusing on not hitting it as far as others.



Phrasing others positive attribute in a negative frame is a type of deflection in order to promote self worth.



You wish to transfer your inability to play as well as you would like to external factors. This delusion is to protect you from the belief structure that you've bought into without thinking.



The issue isn't about trying not to react but taking away the reason why you do so. If you change your orientation so you are intrinsically motivated and no longer link things to your value, you won't be emotionally affected after a bad shot. No matter how bad it is, you won't see it as something that devalues you.

Your desire to win is operating from a self-imposed fear of failure rather than from a healthy love of the game and enjoying the company you are with. This causes you hate losing and makes you feel bad. If you get out this thinking that people have value in relation, you will still enjoy winning but since you won't feel like it depreciates your worth if you lose, you won't fear it.

I wonder whether this sort of analysis is typical of psychotherapy autodidacts.

The OP wants to avoid hitting his driver off the shaft. Yup - that's an external motivation. That's the point. If I put my mind to it, I could shank my way round the course in perfect tranquility, but what would be the point of that?

People like Timothy Gallwey or Bob Rotella who talk about "not caring about" or "letting go of" results are employing psychological sleight of hand. The point is to find a state of mind that supports learning and, yes, getting better - which is still an external motivation. Which is perfectly fine by me.

But if you genuinely don't care about the results - then what are you doing out there for 4 hours? Whatever it is, it's not golf.

Personally, I still think that the OP's issues are skills-related rather than psychological. I don't think that a handful of bad holes in a round is evidence of mental issues - I think it's normal for most people and I wouldn't try to pathologise it.

Raise your level of skill and your control of the golf club - and the frequency and severity of your bad shots should both reduce.

Books that I like on mental skills and learning include anything by Gallwey, anything by Rotella, Michael Hebron's later stuff, and more generally, The Talent Code and Talent is Overrated. The last 3 have good bibliographies for further reading.

 

[dschultz6072]

I think it's not terribly bad to "let go of" or "not care about" bad shots in the sense that you shouldn't be thinking of the bad shot you just hit while you're standing over the next shot. I'm a firm believer the outcome of the shot will have something very much to do with what the last thought was in your head before you hit it. Didn't Johnny Miller say the hardest shot in golf is the shot after you shank it?

My approach to shots is to imagine every shot is my first shot. One shot at a time. Easier said than done, sure, but once you get into that mode things seem a whole lot more manageable.

 

[birly-shirly]

I agree. I just think that there's a world of difference between truly "not caring about results" and having the mental skills to prevent your reaction to a bad shot ruin your chances of hitting the next one.

 

[Kevin Shields]

Um, no. I think the fact that he is 20 years older is a very valid reason for not hitting the ball as far as the young guys.

It's quite healthy to compete AGAINST your playing opponents. You can shake their hands and buy them a beer afterward, but in the mean time, go ahead and try to bury them. The only thing better than winning by 5 strokes is winning by 6.

Embracing competition and striving to win is part of the spice of life. When you've lost previously, but then work hard on your game and prevail.....that's a beautiful thing.

But it does sound like he's letting external things affect his play.

 

[softconsult]

Competition has many formats. What format is OP competing under? If he is competing straight up against the younger better players, then that's a big problem. He should be competing net of handicap, or be getting strokes from his competitors.

 

[Richie3Jack]

When I play in tournaments, I try to get myself to feel like it's another round of golf. I do try and make it a point to have fun out there, even though it's a situation where people generally don't think of fun.

But the big part is that I think people often try to change the way they play tournament golf instead of the way they play casual rounds. What I mean is that they play casual rounds a bit too casually and then are in a completely different and serious mode in tournaments. I think a golfer needs to find a way to merge the two. Take the casual rounds a bit more seriously and the tournaments a little more casually so that there is less of a difference between the two.

Things like putting out every putt in a casual round is a good thing. A lot of times in a casual round you'll hit a good 50 foot putt to 3-feet and your buddies give you the 3-footer as sort of a 'reward' for hitting that 50-footer close. But in a tournament you still have to make that 3-footer. And that is a bit of a shock to the system.

Lately, I've been trying to qwell my anger on the course. It's not that I think anger is always a bad thing, but too often it hurts more than helps. I try to remember that I can't shoot a good round because of 1 poor hole, but certainly can play a bad round because of 1 really bad hole.

But, I think with golf you need to have a poker face with a positive body language. It's too easy to get down on yourself and lose focus. I recently just told myself I really don't care if I ever break a club out of anger. I really don't. I can always get a new one. But, what I do care about is losing shots in a round of golf and even if a club doesn't break or doesn't get damaged, that anger can cost me shots because it throws my focus out of whack.

Along with that though, I don't think it's wise to start barking at shots...even if they are good ones. You start barking at a shot to 'be the right club' and you are becoming too emotionally invested for your own good. Thus, when you hit a mediocre shot, it's likely to be cause you to get angry.

Even keel...positive body language...and good focus on each shot.








3JACK

 

[KGlennCole]

Competition has many formats. What format is OP competing under? If he is competing straight up against the younger better players, then that's a big problem. He should be competing net of handicap, or be getting strokes from his competitors.

Our tournaments are net (85% handicap) flighted. As i said, I'm out of the money by 1-2 strokes, only 3-5 strokes from #1-#3. Real close, IMHO.

 

[KGlennCole]

But it does sound like he's letting external things affect his play.

Kevin, you know me. You know how hard I work at this and how much I love and know about the game. You are probably correct, though. How do I blank everything out and 'play my own game' when others are blowing it by me +50 yards? I'm not far out of the money. I don't get into the skins and pins. But, I seemingky have that bad hole that leads to another bad hole and.. another lost opportunity.

And, that is the point of my dilemma. I can work on mechanics until the cows come home. I can play course course management (e.g., hit 3-hybrid into full Wedge instead of a who knows 3-W; hybrids or irons out of rough instead of 3-W, etc.). But, what about the mental aspect?

IIRC, you alluded to the blank mind when you were playing with Rocco in the Mylan. What does it take? Is it too late for me? I'm always aware of my competitor's score because I have to watch and count his strokes.

 

[softconsult]

All I can say is I'm certainly not the one to offer suggestions. I am familiar with the mind ruining a round. However, I don't let it get to me for very long. I was playing in one of our events last week. My riding partner had the same handicap. After, nine holes he was adding up scores and started to tell me how we stood against each other. I told him I did not want to know. Last 5 holes he is telling me he's down by 1 shot.
He totally tanked. I beat him by 6 shots. That is not to say that this is my norm, but rather that on that day I remained calm and just played the shots. I won the first flight by 1 shot. The next tournament I was 7th. No big deal, just golf.

 

[KGlennCole]

When I play in tournaments, I try to get myself to feel like it's another round of golf. I do try and make it a point to have fun out there, even though it's a situation where people generally don't think of fun.

But the big part is that I think people often try to change the way they play tournament golf instead of the way they play casual rounds. What I mean is that they play casual rounds a bit too casually and then are in a completely different and serious mode in tournaments. I think a golfer needs to find a way to merge the two. Take the casual rounds a bit more seriously and the tournaments a little more casually so that there is less of a difference between the two.

Things like putting out every putt in a casual round is a good thing. A lot of times in a casual round you'll hit a good 50 foot putt to 3-feet and your buddies give you the 3-footer as sort of a 'reward' for hitting that 50-footer close. But in a tournament you still have to make that 3-footer. And that is a bit of a shock to the system.

Lately, I've been trying to qwell my anger on the course. It's not that I think anger is always a bad thing, but too often it hurts more than helps. I try to remember that I can't shoot a good round because of 1 poor hole, but certainly can play a bad round because of 1 really bad hole.

But, I think with golf you need to have a poker face with a positive body language. It's too easy to get down on yourself and lose focus. I recently just told myself I really don't care if I ever break a club out of anger. I really don't. I can always get a new one. But, what I do care about is losing shots in a round of golf and even if a club doesn't break or doesn't get damaged, that anger can cost me shots because it throws my focus out of whack.

Along with that though, I don't think it's wise to start barking at shots...even if they are good ones. You start barking at a shot to 'be the right club' and you are becoming too emotionally invested for your own good. Thus, when you hit a mediocre shot, it's likely to be cause you to get angry.

Even keel...positive body language...and good focus on each shot.
3JACK

I play my casual rounds like my tournament rounds. In fact, I try to exercise course management the same way. It's rare when I try a heroic shot.. unless I'm playing alone and its a 'second practice shot'. Anger or excess emotion is not an exhibited characteristic.. I've played with too many a**hole club-throwers. The worst I do is say "Rats" when I hit a poor shot. I do bark 'be the club' or 'get there' on a good shot. BTW, I do compliment my opponent(s) when they hit a good shot.

 

[dschultz6072]

I'm not like some stud in tournaments or anything, but I can tell you I've recently started trying my hand at the local skins game after my teacher invited me to give it a shot. So the players in this game are pretty much the best in town. Bunch of pirates. I gotta tell you the first tee shot I saw in this game almost made me pack up and go back home. The guy went to Texas on a golf scholarship and got screwed after he got injured, but not before beating Anthony Kim in match play. Dude sets up, par 4 350 yards playing up the hill maybe 380-390ish, blasts his tee shot the highest I have EVER seen a tee shot with a driver go, right over the trees that are guarding the entrance to the hole between the fairway bunkers and ends up about 55 yards off the green. I'm used to being about 120-125 out. I proceed to drop kick my tee shot.

After the first tee I was driving the ball the best I ever have, right in the middle of every fairway, but I was still 50-80 yards behind everyone else. I would just smack the hell out of the ball and say "that's all I've got." "Nice ball, Dave." When we drive up to the balls, there's mine. "Where are you guys?" "Way up here about 70 yards" *sigh* Short and straight all day long, always first to hit. Never had a chance. Guys flying hybrids as far as you do your driver, plus able to reach every par 5 under 575 yards no problem and still drop the eagle putt. It's pretty draining to play that way.

These guys must either think I'm incredibly stupid or I have the heart of a lion. I'm not going to give up on this, and neither should you. As long as you aren't way off the money, you're not being so challenged that it makes you uncomfortable and anxious.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/Challenge_vs_skill.svg

Where do you think you fit in here?